Learning to be a Stay at Home Mom, Part One: Acceptance

I didn’t plan to stay home with my son. I thought I would give birth, spend a couple weeks snuggling him, and then place him in a daycare close to my work where I could visit him during the day if I chose to do so. My husband and I had always evenly split the chores. With both of us working, we figured we could hire someone to come in and help once a week. It was a great plan for us and we were ready to execute it over a month before our son was even born.

Six weeks turned into eight. He just didn’t seem to be gaining weight, but the pediatrician and lactation consultant were confident he would catch up. At two months they began to worry and referred us to GI. The earliest appointment we could get was a month away. The weekend before the GI appointment we were in the Emergency Room. Our son had stopped gaining weight entirely and was admitted for Failure to Thrive. It became painfully clear during the admission that I wasn’t going back to work anytime soon, and that I would have to adjust my plans.

Once I accepted that I was going to be a stay at home Mom things became a lot easier, but it took me about six months to get to that point. Part of it was that I just couldn’t seem to catch up on my severe sleep deficit from the first three months. I had so many people at my house all of the time. My stress level was through the roof. Eventually the constant visitors stopped coming. My stress level came down to a manageable level. After a week or two of a quiet house with my son, napping when he napped, and finding a routine that worked for us, I was finally ready to accept my new role.

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