Advertisements

How to Deal with the Two Different Types of Guilt

Sometimes it feels as if there’s no end to the guilt hoisted upon me by others. Generally, these statements come in the form of, “You SHOULD [insert thing].” While there’s no reason the word, “should,” need be entirely removed from the English language, it’s frequently the word choice of people when they want to use guilt as leverage to direct me toward a different course of action. Guilt comes in two forms.

  1. False Guilt – In this case, you don’t agree you’re doing something wrong. It’s difficult to recognize at first. With practice you’ll soon come to realize you probably get more of this hoisted upon you than you could’ve ever guessed. Examples of this include, “You SHOULD let your child refuse to eat. He’ll get hungry and eat eventually,” and “You SHOULD stop supporting the baby’s head. He’s old enough to hold it himself if you give him a chance.”
    For a child with a feeding tube, the first isn’t true. If it was, they wouldn’t need the feeding tube. For a child with hypotonia, the second isn’t true. Children with hypotonia are slow to make progress on gross motor skills. Acknowledging the guilt is false takes a lot of its power away. Once you identify it as truly false it likely won’t bother you anymore.
  2. True Guilt – This one is a little nastier, because you agree you’ve done something to deserve feeling guilty. The best way to deal with this one is to forgive yourself. Whatever happened, you can’t go back and change the past. Your intentions were probably good and hindsight is 20/20 in these situations. Just because it’s obvious now you wish you had done things differently doesn’t mean there’s a way you could’ve possibly known that at the time.
    If you want to forgive yourself and are having a difficult time, try looking at yourself in the mirror and saying, “I forgive you for [insert thing].” Continue doing this every day. You’ll find it helps. This technique also works for other doubts and fears you might have.

If someone in your life is repeatedly guilt tripping you, true or false, and you are having difficulty dealing with it, consider taking a break from them for a while. If you give yourself some time away your mind will be clearer and you’ll be better able to process what’s really going on and whether or not the guilt is true guilt. If it’s not, you can then ignore it. If it is, then you’ll know you have some forgiving to do.

Advertisements

2 responses

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

A Momma's View

My thoughts about homeschooling, health and fitness, being an expat, kids and just life in general. My personal Lifestyle Blog!

PenneyVanderbilt

World's Greatest Blogger

HeideBlog

Random observations about writing, photography, travel, and life

Daddy Coping in Style

A dad coping with fatherhood, stylishly.

thekitchensgarden

farming, gardens, cows, goats, chickens, food, organic, sustainable, photography,

The Thrifty Gourmand

Eat Well. Cook Often. Live Sustainably.

Discover

A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

The Daddy Blitz

Thank you for visiting my Blog! Please take a few moments to leave a comment and to sign my Guestbook. If I'm not already following you, message your Blog address to me.

thehappylife101

Live in the moment with a grateful heart

Loving Them

Even when they drive me crazy.

MakeItUltra™

Motivate | Inspire | Uplift

MSnubutterflies

My Walk..........Living With MS

Karen Lee Kleis

Fiction, Poetry, Nonfiction, Photography and Photo Art

Art by Rob Goldstein

There is no common truth

A Thomas Point of View

My high horse journalistic point of view

lifexperimentblog

Sharing my experiences with all life's experiments!

Being Margaret

A lighthearted look at life on any given day

Dream Big, Dream Often

Seek To Add Value To the World Around You

HarsH ReaLiTy

A Good Blog is Hard to Find

%d bloggers like this: