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You’re Not Alone

It’s been a rough week. There was so much violence and death reported on the news it’s difficult to even register the full gravity of it all. On top of that, loving parents on vacation with their son learned the hard way that, in Florida, deadly efficient predators lurk in water so shallow even adult fish would prefer not to swim there. Did I know that before this week? Yes, I did. Would I expect anyone else to know who doesn’t live in the areas these predators thrive? Absolutely not.

Next week we meet with therapists and a teacher from our state’s early intervention program to discuss our son’s progress and our goals for the next year. He was tested last week by neurology and the teacher. It was devastatingly obvious he’s behind. How far behind is difficult to discern. Neurology told us he’s performing between 18 and 24 months in general. The teacher gave no hints about what she thinks. We’ll find that out next week.

We found out recently our son may need speech therapy and that’s likely intertwined with his feeding difficulties. The same muscle group is responsible for both after all. The teacher will likely also visit our son on an intermittent basis. Adding one new provider is difficult. Just thinking about adding two providers at the same time gives me a headache. Can I take a mental health day? Oh, wait… Moms don’t get those. Nevermind.

I doubt this is surprising to anyone but it’s better to be explicit. All of this combined has made for some fairly serious writer’s block. I can always make time to write but the flow of information from my mind to my fingertips is one place that, when it fails, can’t be easily re-established.

I thought about taking a break from blogging for a short time but after further consideration realized sharing how I’m feeling is also of value. I want all of you to know I also get overwhelmed. When I hear about children being hurt or killed on the news in the back of my mind I’m afraid. I’m scared of what we’ll hear from our son’s therapy team next week. I’m sad so many people died because they decided to go out to a bar and have a good time.

So this week there is no helpful tip or information you might give to family members to make your life easier. This week I’m sad, overwhelmed, and afraid. I share this with you so you know when you feel the same way… you’re not alone.

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