It’s that time of the year. Many people miss the loved ones they’ve not seen in months or more. The holidays have a way of reminding us parts of our family are missing. It’s especially difficult when you don’t know why the other person stopped talking to you. It can also be tough if you feel you didn’t have a choice but to stop talking to the other person for the sake of you and your family’s wellbeing.

If the issue is resolvable this is a good time to consider reaching out to mend fences. It doesn’t have to be some kind of extravagant gesture. A Christmas card, an e-mail, or even just a signed postcard will let the person know you’re thinking of them. Will it work? Who knows. The important thing is to try. You’ll never know unless you try.

I’m a passionate advocate of keeping unsupportive people out of your life. If you’re not speaking to someone because of drug abuse, alcoholism, or another serious issue along those lines then make it clear to the person (if it isn’t already) that stopping is a pre-requisite to repairing your relationship. After that, it’s up to them to resolve the issue and let you know they’re ready to transition into a positive force in your life. Do let them know what they need to change, however. It’s common, especially in the case of addiction, for people to be in denial about the addiction causing the problems in their life.

Reconciling is hard in all cases. It’s going to require you to talk about things you don’t want to talk about and hear things you don’t want to hear. Apologies don’t come easy and may not come at all. If this person is important to you it’s worth the time and effort. The type of relationship that’s worth fighting for isn’t a common one. It may be a while before you come across another.