Special needs children are like runners. Runners are one of the best groups I know as far as understanding what, “personal best,” really means. I can’t count how many times I’ve watched someone come yelling and cheering with excitement for losing a race. You look at them like they’ve gone mad, until they explained they cut a whole minute off their time. Well then, that’s a big deal! Once they explain you all celebrate together, because you don’t have to be the best to be awesome. You just have to keep getting better. So, what’s my point?
I spent the first twenty or so years of my life judging my worth by grades. After that, it was job title and salary. It wasn’t until almost thirty that my son was born and his medical difficulties turned everything I knew about how to measure myself upside down. Some Moms compete over who has the sickest child, but that’s just not me. I’m perfectly happy when my son needs less medical intervention than someone else’s. I want him to be able to blend into a crowd and let something define him besides his health. At the end of the day, I’m left with no way to define myself good or bad. It leaves me feeling completely out of my depth. For every new thing I learn, there’s ten more things I need to work on.