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No More Judgement

No matter what you do, people are going to judge you. It’s the culture we live in right now. There’s this overwhelming expectation that everyone needs to be perfect at everything they do.

  • Kids play sports? They have to win, and nothing less will do. If they don’t, something must be wrong with the coach.
  • Your kid watches TV? Well mine doesn’t, and I don’t think yours should either. You must be a bad parent.
  • Your kid doesn’t do well in school? Well it must be the teacher’s fault, because there certainly can’t be anything wrong with the child.
  • What do you mean your kid is struggling with health problems? Since I can’t tell they have health problems in the two minutes I’ve known them, they must be fine!

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The Difficulties of Breastfeeding, a Special Needs Perspective

In honor of breastfeeding support week, I would like to share this with all of you. I wrote it a good while ago and decided to shelf it indefinitely. I think I’ve come to a place where I’m finally comfortable sharing. Enjoy!

Let me start by saying, a lot of people in the previous two generations do not understand breastfeeding. They bought in to the sales pitch that formula is better for your child. They believe bottles are better than the breast. The first time your child seems to struggle (even if only a little) being breastfed, the overwhelming response is that shoving a bottle of formula in their mouth will make everything better.

In order to balance this out, others have gone to the extreme to claim breastfeeding is best in all cases. There is never a situation where formula needs to be given, and if you give your child formula you’re denying them the chance to bond with you fully. The truth is in between, as is usually the case. There are situations where children need to be fed formulas. I didn’t know this when we started on our journey with our son, but there are formulas designed to help children with medical needs such as difficulty digesting and unknown allergies.

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A Special Needs Mom’s Never Ending Battle with Feelings of Inadequacy

I spent the first twenty or so years of my life judging my worth by grades. After that, it was job title and salary. It wasn’t until almost thirty that my son was born and his medical difficulties turned everything I knew about how to measure myself upside down. Some Moms compete over who has the sickest child, but that’s just not me. I’m perfectly happy when my son needs less medical intervention than someone else’s. I want him to be able to blend into a crowd and let something define him besides his health. At the end of the day, I’m left with no way to define myself good or bad. It leaves me feeling completely out of my depth. For every new thing I learn, there’s ten more things I need to work on.

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