A Special Bond

November 20, 2015 By Ashley Bergris in Observations Tags: bonding, caregiver, dad, medically complex, mom, parenting, SAHM, Special Needs, Stay at Home Dad, Stay at Home Mom Leave a comment

Mothers frequently have a unique bond with their children. Something about being “Mom,” or “Dad” where he’s the primary caregiver, creates a connection with your child which cannot be broken. Mothers who adopt have it as well, as does anyone who serves as a child’s primary caregiver. The unbreakable tie between you and your child becomes stronger when your child has medical difficulties or special needs.

It’s not that these caregivers love their children any more than anyone else. It’s a strengthening which increases the sensitivity of both Mom and the child to the connection itself. It’s as if you can feel your child’s presence through a sixth sense. Their emotions are as clear as day. Personally, I frequently become tired when my son gets tired even if he shows no outward signs of fatigue. If I take a nap while he’s sleeping, I wake up around the same time he does.

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Managing Your Stress, Part Three: New Normal

July 9, 2015 By Ashley Bergris in Caregiver Tips & Tricks Tags: Acceptance, Breaks, Crisis, Emergency, New Normal, SAHD, SAHM, Stay at Home Dad, Stay at Home Mom Leave a comment

Getting settled into a new routine after a emergency or crisis is one of the hardest things I’ve had to handle as a mother of a special needs child. One of the tricky things about not having a diagnosis is that you never know if you’re looking at a new illness (virus, infection, etc.) or a new feature of the undiagnosed syndrome. It’s happened several times that the new problem has turned out to be another clue to the underlying syndrome and we’ve had to adjust what we’re doing to accommodate. So, that’s all well and good, but how do you do that?

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Managing Your Stress, Part One: Crisis vs. New Normal

July 7, 2015 By Ashley Bergris in Caregiver Tips & Tricks Tags: Breaks, Crisis, Emergency, New Normal, SAHD, SAHM, Stay at Home Dad, Stay at Home Mom, stress, Stress Management, Taking Breaks Leave a comment

This post is part of a three day series about how to handle stress when you’re bouncing back and forth between crisis and calm. I hope you find it helpful. I would love to hear about things YOU are doing to manage your stress.

There are two situations mothers of special needs children find themselves in more often than we would like to admit. The first is crisis situations. Many, although not all, of these land us in the hospital with our already struggling child. Once there, we fight fiercely to protect them from catching something even worse than what brought them in in the first place and engage in a constant power struggle with the hospital staff to let our children sleep. The second is what I call the, “new normal.” This frequently, though not always, comes after a crisis. Something has changed in our child’s condition and it’s changed the way that they and we have to live our lives. Identifying which of these two situations you’re in is key to properly handling your stress level.

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