Sometimes people say insensitive things. It’s generally not intentional, and I prefer to assume everyone has good intentions at heart. In the spirit of those good intentions, I would like to differentiate between what constitutes needing a g or jtube versus being a, “picky eater.”
Picky eaters are a struggle. Their parents spend a lot of time encouraging and coaxing them to eat, and they frequently refuse to try new things. At the end of the day though, the child does eat. Their food stays in their stomach. They receive enough calories and nutrition to grow. While frustrating, they can generally be expected to at least pick at their food if their belly is empty, provided you can find something that appeals to them. Since they do eat, there are usually a few fallback foods they’ll consume. There’s no expectation that they would truly starve to death if you didn’t produce the perfect series of meals (though it may feel like it sometimes).
The difference between that and needing a g or jtube is that tube-fed children really would either starve to death or be so nutrition deprived they wouldn’t be able to grow if not for tube feedings. At the table they have the appearance of a picky eater, from start to finish. They refuse to eat foods provided. Additional foods are also rejected. When pressed, they may take a bite or two. The experience displays everything you would expect from a particularly challenging meal time with a picky eater. For tube fed children, it’s like this every meal. There is no food you can offer that they’ll gobble up (or if there is, it’s nutritional value is extremely limited and it isn’t viable to be a primary source of nutrition).